Randy says parents don't realize the power of their words: "Depending on a child's age and sense of self, an offhand comment from Mom or Dad can feel like a shove from a bulldozer." Have you ever felt that way? What are the vital messages to be drawn from the way Randy is saying goodbye to his kids, and from the tangible things he is leaving behind for them?
112 Comments
Janice Kao
5/1/2012 09:40:56 am
With my parents, they always told me that I should be an accountant, engineer, and of course, a pharmacist. Because of that, most of my life, I truly believed that being an accountant was the only path paved out for me. Now that I’m older, I know that’s not the case and I can choose what I actually want to do. The vital messages that Randy emphasized was for his kids to live their life the way they wanted to, not how others wanted them to. Another message he stressed on was that they should fulfill their dreams and to dream big like Randy did when he was younger.
Reply
Helen Zhang
5/9/2012 11:00:09 am
I completely agree. The theme in Mr. Pausch's book and last lecture was to follow YOUR dreams, not others'. People should be able and have enough courage to go on paths they want to go on. I couldn't thank Mr. Pausch enough for stressing on this topic.
Reply
Sierra Latshaw
5/1/2012 09:47:30 am
I have felt like my parents kind of push me out of the way. Whenever I go to my dad's house he treats me as though its a pain to drive me to my friends, or to a school event. He tells me he's not my taxi even though I don't think of him that way. Each time he says it I become more and more upset with him, and myself. I think if he could have worded his thoughts differently I wouldn't feel like such a pain. I think vital messages drawn from the way Randy said goodbye is that it's not only a goodbye to his kids, its a bunch of life lessons thrown in for other people to. Randy wants to show his kids that he wants to be a part of their life more than anything but its not going to happen. Along with that he teaches other people to be happy with your life. You see Randy really loves his kids and knows that they are going to be great, he wants to tell him that he supports them in what they do even if he is not there to tell them that. He also tries to tell them that they need to learn to pick themselves up after they fall and learn from whatever made them fall so they can stand a little taller. He leaves his kids the tape to help them understand who he is, because who wouldn't want to know what their father was like if they never got the chance for him to be with them in most of their memories.He left his legacy in those tapes for his kids and wanted them to know that even if they couldn't remember him he would remember them and was happy to have them in his life.
Reply
Chandru Sundarrajan
5/9/2012 07:54:01 am
My dad always says "I'm not your taxi," too! Offhand comments like these do hurt, especially for a young child. I've experienced comments like these, and they are demotivating. However, as I have grown older, I have understood that their motives are not bad, and they are just trying to make you a better person. I still agree with Pausch that parents must be careful with their words when talking to their children.
Reply
Jamie Stivers
5/1/2012 10:05:16 pm
Sometimes I feel like my parents push me out of the way, but I understand why. My family is in a tough situation and I'm sure I get annoying sometimes. I think being pushed out of the way is something people have to learn in life, because it will happen and you need to know how to handle it. I think the vital lessons to learn from what Randy is leaving for his kids are live your life the way YOU want to. He also wants them to dream big and follow their dreams.
Reply
Grace Lu
5/2/2012 12:02:51 am
I think Randy is very true. Though my parents are careful with the comments they leave around me, they aren’t perfect (who is?) When I was a child, a slight of wording could make an innocent comment feel like a blow. Usually when this happened I would start bawling, and my parents would say sorry, giving an explanation of what they really meant. But I’m sure there are plenty of other small children who just “held it in”, and never got the chance to hear what Mom and Dad really meant. Sometimes it seems like my parents are paving my life out for me, instead of letting me choose what is important to me (and I'm sure many other kids feel so too about their parents) Without my parents' guidance I probably would be nowhere right now, and they mean well, but sometimes the harsh comments spoken by parents can cause a negative impact in self esteem, priorities, and even morals.
Reply
Mukund Kuntimad
5/6/2012 01:34:24 am
I thoroughly agree that nobody is perfect. Parenting is a very tough and tricky job, especially if one is a first time parent. It is very important for children to realize that parents are not their enemies, but well-wishers who wish the very best for their children at heart. Yes, sometimes, innocuous comments can hurt because it is misinterpreted. It is very important for both parents and children to keep the lines of communication open and clear the air as often as possible. When in doubt, clarify. Do not be swayed by emotions and presume things which were not said. At the same time, parents should also be careful with their choice of words. By keeping the lines of communication open, there will be less misinterpretation of words and healthy relationship results.
Reply
Grace Lu
5/12/2012 10:27:02 am
Wow, you were really good at putting that into words! I agree, though it can be hard to do sometimes in the middle of some situations.
Kyle Towe
5/2/2012 12:50:02 am
Yes, I have felt that way. It is like whenever you are annoying your parents and they just kind of snap at you and then go back to what they are doing. They didn’t look at it as a big deal but you or I sure did. Even though it was such an insignificant matter but anytime our parents scold us or get angry it is like a slap to the face that leaves you feeling out of touch.
Reply
Lauren Villanueva
5/9/2012 01:04:59 pm
I really like your example of when parents scold children. Also I like how you said that Randy wants his kids to grow up and be their own person and not try to be anything they don't want to be, because that is what he really believed in.
Reply
Surabi Rao
5/2/2012 01:00:48 am
My parents usually don't make offhand comments that "feel like a shove from a bulldozer", because when they say something that offends me, I know that they don't mean it, or they just misworded what they wanted to say. Randy's most vital message to his kids is to live life how THEY want to, and make their own decisions about their life. Also, he wants them to fulfill their childhood dreams, obviously. He's leaving behind the video of his lecture for them, so that they can see what he wanted to tell them about achieving their dreams. Randy wants his kids to never stop trying.
Reply
Joshua Chow
5/9/2012 10:15:48 am
Thanks for writing "I know that they don't mean it, or they just misworded what they wanted to say." It means a lot to me because I want to feel that way. I want to be able to believe those words like you do.
Reply
Melody Siebenmann
5/2/2012 01:31:41 am
A lot of times an offhand comment does sting. They may not notice, but it does. I also get those comments a lot from my brother and sometimes I do question if he knows what he's saying. because most of the time, I take it as an insult. Like when he says something about how I play basketball, how I speak, how I play my guitar, how I write, or how I act. But I try to let it go, even if it burns. Randy wants the kids to remember something of him, and to know who he was. As well he wants them to know how much he loved and cared for them, that he didn't die on purpose and he would have given anything to be there with them, because he loves them dearly. But most importantly, he wants his kids to grow up, follow their dreams, and to live their own life, that he doesn't have anything he wants his kids to do, but to make decisions for them selves, on what job to get and who to be because he loves them.
Reply
Giselle Peng
5/9/2012 11:21:43 am
It's good that you made the point that you let it go, even though it hurts. I have also been stung by an offhand comment. But in the end, holding a grudge against someone for something they didn't really mean does more harm than good. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to ignore it and move on.
Reply
5/2/2012 01:32:02 am
Sometimes, I can feel like my parents are trying to push me away. Such scenarios usually occur when I make an unusually bad mistake, or get an extremely low grade; my parents tend to treat me, in these cases, as if I am extremely incapable. From this segment in the book, Randy communicates that kids should know, beyond any doubt, that their kids love them. He also makes it a point that parents should drill their love into their children, so that their parents' love can help them get through a tough situation, even if the parents are not there. This is extremely important to Randy; since he will be dying soon, and his kids (especially his daughter, Chloe) are too young to understand how much he loves them while he is still alive, he needs to use any means necessary to make sure the kids know what he wants them to know. Additionally, he wants them to know what kind of a man he REALLY was, and he was able to do that through tangible items such as letters. He believes that you should leave behind a strong legacy for your kids, and that you should let them know how much you love them through what you leave for them.
Reply
Taeeun Kim
5/9/2012 10:57:48 am
That's what my parents do too when I get low grades! I think he chose the best way to leave behind his legacy and to show his kids how much he loved them. The Last Lecture really was a good idea. Plus it's permanent.
Reply
Giselle Peng
5/2/2012 01:42:38 am
I have felt that way before, mostly when I was younger, although my parents were usually just trying to help. Randy is right: constructive criticism can sometimes seem less constructive and more like they're belittling you or putting you down. Because parents are the biggest role models in a child's life, everything they say holds weight. I don't think that parents realize how much a disparaging comment can hurt because it just isn't as big a deal to them.
Reply
Sakina Daresalamwala
5/9/2012 11:21:16 am
Giselle, you just described my feelings perfectly. Usually though, I knew my parents were trying to help me, but sometimes the way that they conveyed it was not so nice. Usually, if I ask them though, they will explain what they really meant by what they said. My parents are definetly my biggest role models so I wouldn't want to change my opinion of them so quickly without knowing what they really meant!
Reply
Eric Benenson
5/2/2012 03:22:10 am
Yes, I have felt this way before. Since they are my elders, when they say something that isn’t very nice, it does sometimes feel very mean and like a blow to the head. The vital messages to be taken away from how Randy says goodbye to his kids are to get what you want to be said, said. Also, to create an environment to where his kids can live their life with as much as stuff of him as possible is another message. Randy leaves videos, letters, his book, and his last lecture for his kids to get a better understanding of who he was and what he was about.
Reply
Ashleigh Little
5/2/2012 11:03:47 am
I know what Randy is saying. My parents opinion is something that matters a lot to me, and although I know that they only say these things because they care about me, but it still can make me feel like they don't care about my feelings (but I know they do).
Reply
Jenna Song
5/2/2012 11:28:34 am
When I was younger, my parents was always very careful with their word choice to me. I never felt "being shoved from a bulldozer", because my parents always thought of me as "their special child". Since I was a very late and their only child, they always watched what they said to me. When they wanted to discipline me, they would choose careful, but a little strong enough for me to not do it again. As I grew older, I started to hear more offhand remarks, but now I am old enough to know that they don't mean it, and they mean to get the best out of me. When Randy is saying goodbye to his children you can tell that he is trying to take more time in enjoying and spending time with them. He tries to think of what makes each of his children make them a special individual and loveable in all a different way to him. He is writing letters, making videos, and trying every single way he can to show how much he cared for his children and what they really meant to him. Showing his children how of a proud father he is, is a vital sign of the message he is trying to communicate his children. In his tapes, videos, and letters he left his whole heart inside it. He captured all the moments of when his children would really melt his heart, and this would allow the children to feel the love of their father even though he won't be there. His way of saying goodbye was a good communication to his children. The children might not remember now, but they will be able to see the evidence of love in the future.
Reply
Ryan Kinder
5/3/2012 12:50:28 am
I have never been pushed to do something by my parents. My parents let me choose what I want to do because they want me to be happy with the choices I make. I think the main message Randy is trying to get across is that parents should not push their dreams on their child. He is doing just this by leaving things for his children that don't make them think their dad wants them to make specific choices.
Reply
Daxton Davidson
5/3/2012 01:02:13 am
When your parents snap at you or say something that is mean they do not see it as a big deal, but it is to the kids. The kids will take it offensively and be really hurt by it even if the parent did not mean it. Parents have a tough job and they must always be careful with their words. They could say something that might not sound bad to them, but might to the kid. It could feel like "a shove from a bulldozer". He is leaving them with videos and pictures that show how much he loves them. He tries very hard to give his kids good memories of them together. The main message in this is that he wants his kids to remember him and that he loves them. He is trying to give them the whole life of a dad in just videos and pictures, so he tries to be with them as much as he can in the last months of his life.
Reply
Alex Berend
5/14/2012 10:49:01 am
I completely agree. It is interesting that you try to portray the thoughts and reasons from the parents' point of view. I also think he used this lecture to that of parenting them as if he was still alive, and I think he did that wonderfully.
Reply
Chandru Sundarrajan
5/3/2012 07:21:02 am
To a child, one dismissive remark from an adult can seem like a slap in the face. Amidst their tough day at work, this small mistake can be a big deal to a kid. This can make them feel that their parents don't care about them, even if the parent's intention wasn't to do so. I have experienced this numerous times, but as I have grown older, I have begun to realize that my parents are just trying to push me harder to become a better person. Pausch acknowledges this fact, and is careful not to do this to his kids. He shows his love for his children by numerous videos and pictures. Randy hopes that this will be one more way for the kids to remember him when they grow up, and I am sure this will work. He is showing how much he cherishes them, and is teaching them many life lessons throughout the way. Randy Pausch makes sure his kids remember to dream big and follow through to become successful.
Reply
Rinith Prasad
5/3/2012 08:57:42 am
Since I could remember, my parents have stated that I WILL be a doctor or a scientist. That's as broad as they left it. I can be a heart surgeon or a mechanical engineer, but it has to relate directly to doctoring or science. I have always felt that my parents rule my life too much. This isn't land to be ruled, this is a life. My life. I do only live once. The vital thing that should be taken from Randy's words and things he left behind is not the things itself, but the effort, time, and value each thing has. It clearly sends a message to Dylan, Logan, and Chole, "I am here for you."
Reply
Teena Thomas
5/3/2012 09:57:50 am
Parents try not hurt their child's feelings but it is not their fault.Some times they might say what they really do not mean. No one in this world is perfect, everyone can make a mistake.I think what Randy means is that he really cares about his three kids. He hopes they would make the right choices and would never regret the choice they had made.
Reply
Anna Sneed
5/3/2012 11:28:28 pm
Sometimes after my mom comes home from work after a busy day, she isn't in the best mood. I will do something slightly irritating, and she might react in a way she didn't mean to, such as yelling at me. Now, at my age, I've learned that she is just stressed, but when I was younger I would have thought she was truly mad at me. While they are young, most kid's role models are their parents. They look up to them to guide them and teach them. They grow up completely dependent on their parents, and eventually grow out of dependence. One comment that might not affect an adult might mean the world to their child, which is why some parents should be careful how they word what they say to their kids. Parents should be careful to let their children know that they love them, and discipline them with the right words. If a child does something wrong, it should be known that it was wrong, but not in a hateful way. Randy's way of leaving things for his kids to remember him by lets them know he loves them, while teaching a life lesson.
Reply
Jennifer Chavarro-Rogers
5/4/2012 04:07:08 am
When I was younger, I was much more sensitive to what my parents said. If they let something slip, I would end up feeling terrible. They would apologize and explain what they actually meant, of course, but it had still hurt. Parents need to be more aware of what they say to their children, whether good or bad. Randy had a very good perception of life. He loved his children very much, and parents could learn a lot from him. He knew how to explain things to his children, and I'm sure they appreciated him, no matter how small they were.
Reply
Beverly Lo
5/6/2012 03:45:03 am
I agree. It seems like we cry more when we're kids because we are more sensitive. My parents would also apologize if they made me cry.
Reply
Vishaal Sakthivelnathan
5/4/2012 08:49:01 am
My parents do that a lot to me. When ever I make a mistake such as getting bad grades, they start yelling at me as if it was the end of the world. When I ask them why they are being so negative towards me, they say that that negative attitude is to give me that sense of I must prove them wrong. While in reality it is taking it way too far like how Randy mentions. There is a limit to the amount a parent should be able to speak to a child. Whenever I spill items, or do not do what I am asked they also yell at me. Some times it goes to extent that for a while you feel as if you are no longer loved. Even though parents do care about their children, their actions do speak louder than words. They have to tell the child more often that they are loved in over to over power the parents actions. I believe that Randy is trying to give a message to both parents and children. To children I believe he is telling them that they should persevere past that bulldozer even if it were to be your parents. Every one says things with out meaning to. To parents I believe he is saying that they should show more love and affection towards their children. They know how rough their childhood was getting, and as technology evolves, it makes it more difficult for children to stay on task. I believe he is trying to tell the parents to vision themselves as if they were the children being put down. There are better ways to positively influence your child rather than making them feel that they are the a worthless piece of junk. Once this is across, then the bond will restrengthen.
Reply
Madiha Rehan
5/5/2012 10:00:48 am
Yes, I've been a little pressured by my parents a couple of times. Like how my dad always asks me if I want to be an accountant or an engineer or an economist, it would just have to relate to math, which I hate. I sometimes feel I don't always have a choice. But I have to understand that my parents want what's best for me. And I think Randy did the same thing for his kids, to give what's best for them from the situation he was in. Even though he knew it was going to be hard for his kids to grow without a father around, his best idea was to save his lecture to have his kids see this when they are older. He really explains what he wants for his kids in his speech, which his kids would learn from. Randy didn't want his kids hanging in a question in their minds about how his father was or what their father was like as a person.
Reply
Swathi Sarathy
5/5/2012 11:30:24 am
I guess there are times when I feel like my parents don't really understand where I'm coming from, and they try to make some of my decisions for me. However, I have been told many times by them that they don't want to plan my life out for me. They want me to do what interests me because I'm obviously the one who is living my life. Basically, it's very rare that I ever feel like my parents don't care about what I have to say.
Reply
Adreesh Roy
5/8/2012 12:37:15 pm
I couldn't have said it better myself. Sometimes, our parents just get to caught up in trying to lay out the best plan for their children in their minds, that they don't pay attention to what the children actually want to do with their lives. Randy says that he will be proud of his children, no matter who or what they turn out to be, and I'm pretty sure majority of our parents feel this way too.
Reply
Grace Lu
5/12/2012 10:36:28 am
Swathi, Adreesh, you guys have basically put out exactly what I feel about my parents! I'm sure many other children feel the same way about their parents as well. We all know that our parents mean the best for us, but sometimes they do get caught up with laying out their plan.
Reply
5/6/2012 12:13:39 am
In general, parents words do impact their kids a lot, whether in a negative or positive connotation. Even a dismissive comment can really hurt a child's feelings. When I was young, my parents rarely used offhand remarks, but they gradually started to use them more as I got older. However, by then I was able to understand that their constant pressures, remarks and comments are meant to help us, and they are just saying it in that way because they are occupied or stressed. Randy's videos and items that he is leaving behind for his kids will definitely be significant to them since they will show that he cared, and wanted to spend much time with them. An important message that can be drawn from the way he is saying goodbye, is the fact that he loved and cherished every moment with them. The objects and videos he is leaving behind are meant to instill a picture in his children of who their dad was, and what he was like. Lastly, he is teaching them to choose their own path, and not to let any impediment get in the way of enjoying life.
Reply
Sydney Stevens
5/6/2012 12:53:58 am
I don't think I have ever heard comments from my parents that "feel like a shove from a bulldozer." Usually when my parents make comments that might hurt other people's feelings, I know they are teasing me or being sarcastic. However, I do feel like a pain sometimes, even when they don't say anything, just because I know I'm grumpy or needy. My parents have always been like Randy in wanting and encouraging me to follow my dreams.
Reply
Dheeraj Nuthakki
5/6/2012 01:19:19 am
I have felt that way for sure. Sometimes from stress and work my parents take the anger out on me. I feel like, they sometimes use me like those plush toys you can take your anger out on. Most of the times those comments from parents can feel really bad like they don't want me. Whenever I get a bad grade or low grade, my parents start lecturing me and start yelling at me. When I do something by accident like spill something my mom starts yelling and tells me to go sit in my room. Sometimes whenever I aggravate my parents, they don't let me do anything fun and make me do SAT practice or vocabulary practice. They make me study for up to 4 hours doing nothing but work and they tell me to show all the work involved in math on a piece of paper and they start lecturing me for hours. I kind of got carried away, but the point is Randy doesn't want his kids to feel that way. He wants kids to appreciate life and what they have. Randy leaves behind many videos and letters and tons of photos. He is making sure that they are prepared for life and the future to come without him.
Reply
Dheeraj Nuthakki
5/6/2012 01:23:44 am
But parents criticize you so you can grow up to become the best. They push you so you can become the best that you can. They do all this, but they still love you. They care about you all the time no matter how they show it. Randy is showing his kids should be happy about their life and remember that their parents are always there for them.
Reply
Vishaal Sakthivelnathan
5/9/2012 08:03:29 am
I totally agree to your comment. Parents can reprimand you because they love you. How ever, we are children, and sometimes we do not get the fact that it is for our own good.
Mukund Kuntimad
5/6/2012 01:21:35 am
I love playing on MMORPGs because it brings out the Tigger in me, but my membership to play them expired in late April. Once, when my family was traveling in the car, my dad generally asked if my iTouch games were enough of an option or if I needed the membership on MMORPGs renewed. This offhand question by my dad made me interpret hit question like he was giving me a choice to have the membership extended. I assumed that this is what he meant and was thrilled that I could extend my membership when it expired. So, these words were like a shove from a bulldozer into a good direction for me.
Reply
Beverly Lo
5/6/2012 03:37:48 am
Many people have noticed that when kids start understanding the world, their favorite question is ‘why?’ When I was younger, I too asked this question frequently. If I questioned my parents, they would often brush me off. At the time, I felt like I was unwanted, but as I grew older I realized that I was just being annoying. I know this because I had to put up with my younger sister. After setting her aside, I understood that my parents didn’t push me away because they didn’t like me, but because they just needed a break from me.
Reply
Taeeun Kim
5/6/2012 06:24:00 am
My mom’s offhand comment is always like a shove from a bulldozer to me. She has very high expectations and high standards and sometimes, it’s very hard to keep up with them. Every single time my mom says something that’s probably just a simple, flying comment to her, I feel so pressured and stressed out about it. Also, when I was young, my parents always told me that I should become a doctor when I grow up. Since then, my dream was to become a doctor. But sometimes I wonder whether I would have chosen the same path if I was given the permission to choose.
Reply
Raghav Kotha
5/6/2012 08:55:55 am
Sometimes, I have felt this way. I have received offhand threats from my parents. Usuallly they come apologize or atleast make it know that they did not try to say it and it just slipped out during an argument or if they are very tense.I think some of the vital things Randy is leaving for them includes freedom, respect(for their mother's selflessness), and family bonds. The reason I say family bonds is because of the close relationship between his kids. Some of the tangible things he left behind are pictures, videos of his last lecture, books, videos of his tv interview, and many other things. This is what I think about this discussion question.
Reply
Anushka Liamye
5/7/2012 04:05:52 am
My parents have sometimes thrown an offhand comment that seemed like just a comment to them, but when I was younger, hurt me. They would always notice, however, and ask why I was upset. I would tell them, and we would make up. My mom's family always gives these kind of comments to my mom and other relatives, and my dad would tell me that that was just the way she'd been brought up and that she didn't mean it. Now, I know that when they say stuff like that, they're usually just under stress, or pressure, and that they don't mean it. Or, I'm being irritating. Randy is obviously trying to tell his kids that he loves them, and though he may not be there for most of their lives, he loves them so much, that he gave a lecture just for them. He's giving his life advicde to them, and also to us. Randy is also trying to tell his kids to be free, and to love whatever they choose to do, and never think that anything is below them. As his father said, "I don't care if you're a ditch digger, but be proud, and be the best ditch digger in the world rather than a snooty elitist behind a desk."
Reply
5/7/2012 07:03:54 am
I feel that my parents have never pushed me to do anything but what I feel is best. They want me to be happy with my life and where it is going. A common theme in many movies and books is an adult trying to live their dreams through their children. For example, Gym Candy; Mike failed in the pro's and wanted success. So once his son could pick up a football, they were out in the backyard practicing. Although Mick loves football, it started out about his dad. This is exactly what Randy is trying to teach people not to do. He encourages people to let their children achieve the things that they want to achieve. He also teaches his kids to do what they want through all the things he has given them.
Reply
Payton Molina
5/7/2012 09:06:05 am
I think parents words have a HUGE impact on their childrens lives because most kids listen to what their parents say and take it to heart. They want to be what their parents expect them to be not what they want to be. But parents really shouldn't do that because I guess they don't see the real effect it has on their kids. They don't think before they speak. The way Randy is saying goodbye to his kids is truly amazing because he is basically saying you need to be what YOU want to be not what I want you to be. He is telling him they need to chose their own paths in life instead of just being what Jai or him wanted them to be. I think it's important that he said that because that could have a really big impact on his kids lives.
Reply
Jackson Stone
5/7/2012 09:34:01 am
During my third grade year i just refused to pay attention and work in class. My teacher had a confrince with my mom that year and my teacher told my mom the issue. Then my mom had a talk with me. She told me that i needed to work and pay attention in class. I explained to her that i there was no need to have good grades. After that she stated that my grades didnt matter but i still needed to do my best. Even though she said that my grades dont matter i felt like she was telling me the exact opposite. Because of that i try my best to get good grades in school. To me that comment changed my life wether or not my mom ment it to. One of the many messages that Randy is leaving behind to his children is that they should be themselfs. Doing what you like or being yourself is that most important thing that someone can do. If you live your life doing things that you hate then your life will suck. Even if your dad wants you to be a sports star.
Reply
Yuna Oh
5/7/2012 11:02:10 am
I never felt that way from my parents because they never gave offhand comments. However, when someone gives offhand comment, I think it can feel like shove from bulldozer. I would think like 'Do they even care about me?' or 'Are they even paying attention to what I'm saying or doing?' The vital message from the tangible letters he left for his children is that he did care about them and his head is filled with the memories of them.
Reply
Lea Balcerzak
5/7/2012 11:35:20 am
There have been a few times in my life when I felt that my parents had almost hit me with their words. And although I am proud and strong, there are times when the words of the people who raised me can scar so deeply. It is not easy to recover from such a “hit.” Yet this phenomenon works also the other way. When our parents express their love for us even in the smallest ways, we are touched and we can deeply cherish them. Through the way Randy says goodbye to his kids, we can truly see the love for a parent towards their child. The love is so strong that Randy is determined to make it last even when he is not there to directly show them how much he cares. Randy leaves his lecture and book for his kids hoping that they can one day understand their father, his legacy, and the lessons he hopes to pass onto them.
Reply
John
5/7/2012 10:02:23 pm
Reply
Kassidy Cragg
5/7/2012 10:11:37 pm
Randy left the message for his children to do what they wanted in life. not what people thought they should do or they would be good at but what they want to do and have fun doing. Most parents want their child to be something they dont want to do whether its playingn sports, making high grades, or their career. my mom doesnt ever push me into something i dont want. im really independent. she always throws her ideas out there but lets me make my own choices.
Reply
Catherine Jackson
5/7/2012 10:22:19 pm
I do agree with that. Especially when parents are angry, they can say things that they don't mean and regret later. I think that some times adults don't see how much children need their approval and/or love. I also think that because Randy knew he was dying and his children would be too young to have many memories of him, he found a way to show them what he was like and how much he loved them.
Reply
Paige Worthington
5/7/2012 10:31:06 pm
Often when a parent is trying to tell you something or giving you side comments or showing their disappointment, kids can feel that they are being told that they have to do this or that they are even being brushed aside and their parents don't understand. I think that the way that Randy is communicating his advice and his love to his kids is going to be effective because he is living this speech that shows that his advice has helped others before and that it is not meant to be like a bulldozer hitting his kids. Also at the end he mentions that this speech is not in fact for the audience but for his children and that can communicate that he does in fact want to be there to help them but since he couldn't, he took hi time to prepare this speech in a way that would make them feel comfortable to learn from it. They can take away things that they wouldn't be able to if he was there just telling them this stuff. First they know he loves them, but also they can take away that when they start living their life they should live it the way that they want to and that it is possible to achieve their own goals and help others around them.. Anything is possible in this speech.
Reply
Taddie Cook
5/8/2012 03:11:59 am
I often am hurt by adult's offhand comments. I guess it is the fact that I do not get in trouble very often that causes me to be hurt when a small bit of disicpline in administered. I even feel horrible when someone else is getting disciplined. I can barely stand when a teacher has to discipline a class that I am in or talk very loudly or roughly to get their attention, even if I wasn't at fault. (Everyone in my 6th period Social Studies Class knows this) Randy wanted his children to know that he did care about them and that they should live up to their potential. He needs to make sure to tell them that they are amazing people so that his children will not have low self esteems because they are missing a parent.
Reply
maci scates
5/8/2012 06:01:19 am
I think that he was trying to show to his kids that even though he would be gone, he could still tell them all of the things he wanted them to know with the last lecture. And to still somehow be a part of thier lifes and make an impact with his words. I agree that what parents say causes you to feel good or bad, even if they didnt mean for it to be bad.
Reply
Maddy G
5/8/2012 06:06:40 am
Most of us look up to our parents. We think of them with such high respect that we care deeply about their opinions on the things we do. Therefore, when a parent makes a remark that sounds like they think our ideas are dumb, we are crushed. Randy wants his kids to know that he will never think any of their ideas or dreams are dumb or impossible. He wants them to feel like they can do anything.
Reply
Neil Bhamoo
5/8/2012 08:01:27 am
I have felt that way many times. A lot of times, when I mess up at doing something that my parents want me to do, they just tell me to not do it in a way that makes me feel like a failure. The vital messages that are to be drawn from the way Randy is saying goodbye is that kids should be able to have their own lives, instead of their parents' lives.
Reply
Morgan Glover
5/8/2012 08:40:25 am
I don't think some parents realize how harsh words sound when they go out of their mouths. If it is just a bit too far, it could break a child's heart. I feel that Randy is trying to show and tell his kids everything about him, even after he dies. He wants them to remember him for his stories, not the ones others tell his kids about him.
Reply
Lauren Kirkley
5/8/2012 09:00:56 am
My parents have always been pretty encouraging to me and my brother, but everyone says things that they may not have really wanted to say. I know of a couple of instances that my parents have said something to me that was maybe not the nicest thing; however I do my best to not take it to heart. Usually the only time they say anything insulting is when I make them angry so I just try to let things die down for a bit. I think the vital message Randy is leaving for his kids is just that he wants them to know that he loves them so much and that he just wants them to be happy. He doesn’t care what kind of careers they want to pursue or the mistakes that they make along their journey, he just wants them to know that he loves them.
Reply
Julia Stephenson
5/8/2012 09:20:54 am
I have definitley felt "hit" by things my parents have said, but people are people, and in the end the people who love you are only trying to help you succeed. They have said things that require me to push myself on levels that I couldn't even imagine, but I do think that some of the things they have said hurt me permanently. Randy however left a positive message for his kids to look back on when he was gone. He really lets them know that he loves them, and I think thats the most important thing a parent can do, and Pausch definitely succeeded in letting his kids and wife know that he loved them enough to put it into words and let them know that life would go on without him physically but he'd always be there spiritually.
Reply
Amy Roh
5/8/2012 09:37:52 am
Yes, that has happened to me sometimes.
Reply
Coleman Wylie
5/8/2012 09:46:09 am
I have felt as though my parent's comments felt than the words they actually said. If my parents would say an offhand comment in anger, it would feel though they were saying something ten times worse. It is said that children get different messages than what their parents are actually saying, and Randy is trying to prevent himself from doing that to his own children. With all the objects and messages Randy left, the children now know a good way to lead their lifes and know that they have freedom in their choices.
Reply
Yacine Issioui
5/8/2012 10:14:31 am
Yes, sometimes I feel that way. When I was 4 or 5I would be to my parents and my Mom or Dad will say something without really meaning much, and I'll take it seriously. This also has happened with other people in my life. Although it doesn't happen much anymore, I can still remember some things my parents and other people have said that I have taken too literally. Randy is trying to leave things like videos and letters for his kids because he knows that parents have a big impact in kids' lives. He's telling his kids that he loves them, both in tangible items and in what memories them and Jai may have. This has probably helped his children understand him, since they won't have many memories of him, Chloe won't have any.
Reply
Pratyusha Manthena
5/8/2012 11:02:31 am
My parents have always been restricting about what my goal in life should be. They want me to become a well paying job and be good at what I do. They pressure me to do very well in school. I would be in big trouble if I got a B or lower. I understand why they act this way. They just want me to have a good future. I think that is okay of them to have high hopes for. Randy wanted everything he left behind for his kids to teach them a lesson about how they should go about living their life. He wants them to be the best at whatever they want to do. He doesn’t what to restrict them. All of the things he leaves behind for his kids have an important meaning. They will allow his kids to learn more about what their dad was really like. I think that these messages are really strong.
Reply
Tyler Smith
5/8/2012 11:12:35 am
I have felt shove from a bulldozer before when my Dad kept pushing me to answer some homework questions. The key message that Randy is saying to his kids is to always have childhood goals (dreams). He says that life should be lived to the fullest. He leaves behind his presentation, his book, letters and mail from his lecture to his children. He wanted to have an impact on their life because he was going to die at a young age and not be there for his kids.
Reply
Rahi Patel
5/8/2012 11:39:01 am
Randy is trying to tell his kids that they can be what ever that they want to be. He is trying not to limit them on what they can or cannot do when they are older. You know, like when an Indian parent tells their child to be a doctor because it is a higher paying job? Well, Randy is trying NOT to do that for his kids and I think that that is a good thing for the kids. He is leaving behind an open space for the children to do as they please without a father.
Reply
Ali Ozymy
5/8/2012 12:12:27 pm
Sometimes I think my parents interpret what they are saying a whole lot differently from the way I interpret it. You always expect your parents to build you up and praise your ideas, and they really do all the time. But sometimes, things they say take you by surprise and catch you off guard. Parents always tell you that "its not about winning" and I really believe that, especially in horseback riding. When I have a good round, ribbon or no ribbon, I feel that I have won. Lately, since I have been winning more, my mom has talked to me about my goals in riding, and if I really want to do good. She talked to me about trying harder and going all out to win. To her, she thought that she was just asking questions, and getting information. To me, I saw it as, "ride harder and win already!" In a way, she did want me to try as hard as I could to win, but she really didn't mean to say that winning had suddenly become everything. Nevertheless, it startled me. I think the way that Randy is saying goodbye to his kids, in everything that he does, and in everything that he says is very admirable. He is very smart to leave pieces of himself, and pieces of his relationship with his children along the way. He is giving his children real ways to remember him. Things they can hold and say, "I know what my dad must've been like." He is leaving things like his book so they will understand his philosophies, and the videos so they will know who he was, and the lecture so they can see how great he was. He is leaving a message that says I love you and even though you don't know me I knew you and I want you to know that I love you.
Reply
Adreesh Roy
5/8/2012 01:33:31 pm
In almost every child’s life, they have probably been snapped at, chastised, or rebuked with words that affect them in very permanent ways by their parents. This has happened to me at times, when my parents criticize my schoolwork or my music. It hurts sometimes, but the thing is, I know they are only trying to help me prepare for the future and not make the same mistake again.
Reply
Eugene Han
5/8/2012 09:12:10 pm
All my life, my mom has been pushing me to become a Doctor and surgeon. Basically, the top - notch jobs. So, I felt like I already had my life planned out. However, as my life passed by, I didn't feel so "bull dozed" anymore. I got to choose the choice of becoming a job that I wanted. Well, not EXACTLY, just as long as it makes a lot of money. But, she is a lot more "free" now. I think a message he is trying to send is to not be so forced to do something. Follow your passion and chase your dreams!
Reply
J.C. Humen
5/9/2012 02:56:08 am
Yes, usually when my mom is stressed she doesn't handle how she talks to us as well. For instance, say she's trying to finish a ton of reports for work when I walk up to her and ask her a question about my homework. She'll snap at me in an irritated tone with rude words sometimes even swear. Now that I'm older I can handle it and better understand her reaction as well as it's purpose. However, when I was little and she'd talk to me like that, it really made me upset because I thought she sincerely hated me or something. In fact, ifhadn't confronted my mom on the issue at about 7 years of age I might still be blaming myself. Who knows what that would've done to my life.
Reply
5/9/2012 06:34:45 am
I have felt this way. Sometimes my parents say things that weren't meant to come across badly, but being a kid I can occasionally take it that way. I understand where my parents are coming from though, sometimes life can be stressful, and I can only imagine how much I get on their nerves. I know that every kid has been snapped at by their parents. Sometimes when mine criticize me, it hurts my feelings. But I know they are only helping me in the long run. I believe that the message Randy is trying to convey for his kids is to be who they want to be. Not to let anyones opinions or even what he or his wife say, get in the way of what they really want to do and accomplish in their life.
Reply
5/9/2012 06:43:05 am
I have felt that way, I try not to let it bother me, but its really hard sometimes. I think Randy leaving those messages and life lessons to his kids are brilliant ways to show them he loved them so much, and wants them to grow up being great. He gave them the oppurtuity to follow his lessons and mistakes, and learn from them. He gave them the ability to dream of anything and everything, he encourages them now even though he isn't there.
Reply
Hauwa oyebanji
5/9/2012 07:10:22 am
My parent push me. they say i have to be a doctor and i feel a little pressure. i try not to let it bother me because that is not really want i want to be in the future. the message randy was trying to leave for his children was that they could be anything they want to be, they shouldn't allow other people word get in their mind.
Reply
Helen Zhang
5/9/2012 07:27:31 am
When I was younger, whenever my parents scolded me, I always felt myself tearing up and feeling extremely hurt. I used to think they're complaining just so they could release their anger on me. As I grew older, I learned to actually listen to what they're scolding about and apologize for my faults. Any of Mr. Pausch's harsh scoldings to his children can surely be forgiven by the way he said goodbye to them. He taught them a life lesson from his last lecture. It's something his children can learn from and remember their father by. By doing this, Mr. Pausch has proven he truly cares for his children. He cares about their futures even when he knows he will not live long enough to see what his children make of themselves. He has influenced them to dream big and live in the way that he did.
Reply
Whitney Bras
5/9/2012 07:34:22 am
I have felt that way a time or two with sports in my family and people I am around. People think because my brother is really good at basketball( no doubt, he is) that I should love it and be good at it as well.Well, I stink at basketball. I love to watch my brother play, but I have got my own sport I love, lacrosse. My mom has always encouraged me to be my own person and to ignore what others think, and to be honest, that is what I do. I don't care if people think I have the mind of a four-year old or that I am a spaz because I kind of am, and I have tons of fun being me! I think Randy was trying to tell his kids to set their own goals and to not worry about what others think you should do. I feel like he wants all of his kids to be there own unique selves and to have there own dreams to achieve.
Reply
Aisha Espinosa
5/9/2012 07:36:45 am
I've definitely felt this way, especially when I was younger, and really sensitive to things my parents would say. However, over the years, I've realized that my parents weren't necessarily mad at me, nor did they mean to say things that felt like a slap to the face. They were simply stressed, or overworked, or their patience was wearing thin because I'd asked a question one too many times.
Reply
Claire Jordan
5/9/2012 07:39:51 am
Both my mom and dad work and can get very stressed out sometimes and say things they don't mean to say. This makes me feel like a pain to them, even though I know they're not trying to make me feel like that on purpose. But I always use the words my mom and dad give me as feedback, and I try to improve things. Yes, I do feel like sometimes they can be a bit harsh, but they always make up for it. And besides, like Randy's parents, they're just trying to help me achieve great things in life.
Reply
Joy Johnson
5/9/2012 08:40:15 am
My parents have always been pretty good about knowing what to say when and where. There are always a few of those fights that never go right and someone says something they shouldnt had. People make mistakes, no matter who they are, not everyone has a filter that the use! Randy knows that his kids wont remember much about him because his children are so young. They will remember somethings and through home videos they will be able to see him. That is why the last lecture is so important to him. He wants his children to see the love in his eyes. Randy wants his children to know that he loves them and that he cares for them. The tangible things in life do not last forever. Tangible things in life are nothing compared to words and thoughts. But since Randy will not be able to be there this lecture and all the videos, they will see him. Randy wants his children to know that worldly things are not important but at the same time he wants them to have something to look at and be proud of him for.
Reply
Marisa Villanueva
5/9/2012 09:33:37 am
Parents have a huge influence on your children whether they realize it or not. How you are raised effects you as a person. Randy is trying to fit in as many valuable lessons in this lecture and book to leave his children a peice of him in writing. They will be able to look back and read his words hearing his sense of humor and personality spill across every page. Randy also makes it very clear in the book that he cares alot about his family. Once his kids decide they want to know more about and read this book, randy has made sure that nearly every lesson he wants his kids to live by is always available to them right there in writing.
Reply
Joseph Overman
5/9/2012 09:55:30 am
Being the youngest kid in my family, it seems that my parents have gotten pretty good practice at avoiding those kind of comments. Obviously though, nobody can be perfect. I honestly don't believe what your parents say is as important as what they really do. You can draw all kinds of crazy conclusions from something meant to have a simple meaning. People can say one thing and mean exactly that. On the other hand, people can say something while really meaning the total opposite. It's the things my parents do that really make in impact on what I think they think of me. If my parents ignore me and put my sisters' interests in front of mine, it puts me in a pretty annoyed mood. If I feel that they overreact about something I did, it makes me feel even worse about it.
Reply
Joshua Chow
5/9/2012 10:13:19 am
Thank you for reminding me that family should be happy! I sometimes forget that because being at homes makes me remember that my Mom has cancer. It makes me want to spend more time with my whole family while she is still here. This book really helped me because I got a little insight on how a person with cancer could feel. The book helped me understand a little better.
Reply
Joshua Chow
5/9/2012 10:09:02 am
Yeah, when I want to show my Dad a grade I got on a test like a 105, and he tells me he’s busy, I justify his actions by saying he’s busy in my head. I think that since Randy is telling his kids goodbye in front of so many people, it makes it feel so much more special. He will be leaving behind his recorded voice, his love in his words, and he will be letting them know that even if he isn’t there, he still loves them just as much. He will also be leaving them encouragement to fulfill your dreams. He also leaves them the valuable message that brick walls are for stopping “all those other people”.
Reply
Nithin Pingili
5/9/2012 10:26:40 am
My parents always used to correct my use of words when I am talking to an older person. Sometimes it just gets annoying because it is just so hard to be respectable, when you go to school every weekday and say words like “Hey”, “What’s up”, and “Dude”. That makes me feel like I am a child that still needs to be respectable to my elders. It seems funny that a comment from my parent could affect me so much as pulling my hair, but a comment from a friend would make me care less about what they say. Other times they actually give me good advice that I take seriously. I am glad that they do that because I know that what m parents say is important and helpful in life. Coming from Randy, I would say that his massage to his kids is telling them to live their lives to the fullest and the way they want to. Another message shown from Randy is for them to dream big, just saying to dream a great life with every passing second.
Reply
Sakina Daresalamwala
5/9/2012 10:43:34 am
Yes, sometimes the criticisms from my parents really hit me where it hurts. They often don’t realize that they said anything hurtful and they don’t notice how I feel, although I can’t really blame them because I like to hide it. I know though that they had no intention to hurt me. The vital message that I take from Randy’s message from his kids is that even though Randy may not be there to guide his kids through everything in life, he will always love them and care for them. He wants them to live their life how they want to live it. All the tangible things that he has left behind shows how much he wants them to remember and think about him. He wants them to know that he will always be there for them, guiding them with the words that he has left for them.
Reply
Lauren Rudd
5/9/2012 10:59:19 am
I have felt this way so many times! It really is the little things that hurt the most. I’m not sure parents really understand how much we value what they say, so when they react a little too harshly, or try to force us to do something, it can be really bad. But as I am reflecting on this, I have it really great parents. They usually don’t force me to do stuff. I have been really lucky, or as Randy put it, I’ve hit the parent lottery.
Reply
Zachary Pranske
5/9/2012 10:59:35 am
For me, the parent lottery is something I feel I have been lucky enough to win, too. In fact, I often feel guilty for having a great family and parents who love me when others talk about their family problems. Sure there are other problems I have, but my parents have never been one of them. I always felt that they pushed me to work hard while never pushing me in any direction. They have always maintained that hard work is the universal currency, and that I could excel at almost anything if I set my mind to it. I think that is what all parents should encourage out of their children.
Reply
Sanjuktha Pendyala
5/9/2012 11:09:34 am
Yes, I have felt that way couple of times. Sometimes I don't think our parents truly understand what we are saying and doing. They think they are right every single time, which they they are. But, they can be wrong in some things too. Our parents correct us on the most smallest things over and over. It can get annoying. I know they are saying for my own good, but there is a limit when and where you should say it. The vital message from Randy is that pursue your dreams if you really want it that bad. Even without encouragements and guidance, you can still make it through. You have to work REALLY hard. It can create into arguments sometimes, but that's how it is. We want to prove our right point, too.
Reply
Alex Berend
5/9/2012 11:25:09 am
I have felt that way before, when you get redirected by an adult and feel flatted, rather than taking into consideration of what they said and making your own reconsidered decision. I think Randy purposly left his kids the lecture in that format so they wouldn't see him as an adult overpowering them, but just one that has left an important message to them-- to live their lives and follow their dreams. He constantly says to make your own decisions out of what an adult tells you, not to just follow exactly what they say, and that was definetly what he wanted his kids to do, along with everybody else.
Reply
christian spiller
5/9/2012 11:28:55 am
I never really feel like an offhand comment from Mom or Dad can feel like a shove from a bulldozer the messages are that you should try to give their best advice possible because their advice can have a huge effect on their children.
Reply
Rudy Rampersad
5/9/2012 11:50:56 am
From an early stage in my childhood, I had accepted myself for who I am and what makes me up. Well, what makes all of us up are the positives and negatives we possess inside us. I learned this at a very young age, because in Trinidad, if you had a flaw, it got pointed out. Things that are considered “too far” here in Coppell, is the day by day in Trinidad. You could say I had a bad childhood, but I like to think of it as realizing the world at an early age. So to answer the first question, No I really didn’t get offended when my parents told me something “offhand”. As for Randy, you can draw many hidden messages from his goodbye. One was dream as big as you wanted and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Another message was never let the “brick walls” in life hold you back. And for the tangible thing he left his kids, he passed the videos he made. But those weren’t just videos. Those were videos that contained his soul and legacy. Those were videos that contained Randy Pausch.
Reply
Nicholas Castorina
5/9/2012 12:20:21 pm
Luckily for me, my parents never say comments like that towards me. They want me to do what ever my heart desires, except if I would work at McDonald's or something. What Randy did was tell his children indirectly that they should be what they want to be and not what he or his wife wants them to be. Like Randy, he followed his dreams and did what he wanted to do and he wants his children to have that same opportunity that he had as a child. He wanted his kids to know that you should follow your dreams no matter what and even if you reach a hard spot, or a brick wall according to him, you should always find away around it, even if it is difficult. We could all learn something from this; always follow your dreams even if they seem far fetched and impossible, always try and the best will come out of it.
Reply
Miika Jarvela
5/9/2012 01:36:37 pm
Nick, I think that it is an excellent thing that your parents want you to pursue your desires. Many parents have so many goals for their children that they forget something very important: the children's goals. That is something that should never lose sight. Although parents can be helpful, they can't (at least shouldn't) control every single aspect of our lives.
Reply
Lauren Villanueva
5/9/2012 12:30:44 pm
I have felt like that whenever my parents give me a goal like that I have to go to this kind of college and have this kind of job. I feel like Randy in the sense that if we are pushed into it we most likely do what is completely wrong for us. The way that Randy is saying goodbye is very well thought out and planned. He is trying to show his kids what he loved about him and the great memories they had. He knew that if they remembered him most of the memories wouldn’t be great so he decides to leave everything he possibly can to show and tell them. His book and his actual last lecture are the perfect resources because they actually get to know him better through it.
Reply
Avery Pietrowiak
5/9/2012 12:32:36 pm
Yes I have felt this way before, when you are growing up you try to do everything to make your parents happy. Being a kid they are your role mode, but when there is something that your parents really want you to do but you don't want to, then you have conflicting emotions. I think that it was a good point that he left his last couple of chapters in the book because they stated that he didn't want his children to think that he has a specific expectations for them. He wants to see where their dreams and hard work take them, by themselves.
Reply
Miika Jarvela
5/9/2012 01:15:12 pm
I think that Randy, like he is with most everything that he says, is right about what he said. Sometimes the people we care and love for (such as our parents) and what they say are much more important than what anybody else has to say. We look up to them, so we respect and value their opinions so much. Things from our parents, although we may not feel like it always, have a special value to them. I sometimes feel this way as well. If I am torn between two or more things in a dilemma, my parents reason me to pick the right choice. They have more experience, and they have more wisdom. So even though they may annoy us sometimes, they usually are right.
Reply
Caden Fernando
5/9/2012 01:15:24 pm
We hold our parents to the highest respect, and almost god-like. They are our protectors, leaders, superheroes, and in our childhood they make the biggest impact in our lives. Therefore, when a parent snaps at you or gives an offhand remark it leaves one in pieces. This hurts more than other people's because this is the moment our dream is shattered, this is the moment we realize our parents are human too. They make mistakes, learn lessons, and even learn from their own children. When I was younger my mother would always push me to do well in school, and I would always respond in result. The first time I ever let my grades slip, 6th grade, my mother yelled at me for hours on end. From then on I viewed her differently, but it was for the better. I realized she could provide me the wisdom of age and I could respect her even more, knowing she didn't have the powers I thought she did. Randy left his children a great gift, the gift of realization. They learned early on that he was human, and that they would have to give in to get. They would have to help their mother, Jai, to help achieve their goals. He left the tangible video to remind his children of the lessons that could benefit them early on, enable your dreams, then enable others.
Reply
Selase Buatsi
5/9/2012 02:38:13 pm
I know that I have felt the feeling that Randy describes. However, I don’t remember any because I forgive and forget, although there is really nothing to forgive, then move on. I know that parents don’t mean to make the types of comments that make you feel bad. My parents always want me to do better, but they always encourage me, and I mean all the time. However sometimes they do slip up. They don’t intend to make me feel bad. In fact it may be my fault for interpreting differently than they meant it. Randy wants to make sure that his kids never have that feeling so he leaves a message behind for them. That message is his ‘Last Lecture’. He says goodbye to his kids so they don’t have to feel so much heart ache when they think about him. From this I learn how much Randy love his family. Although he didn’t get to spend much time with them, he loves them each with all his heart. From the tangible things that he leaves for him again I see how much that Randy loves his children. He wants them to know as much about him as t hey can. He knows that they are young and their memories my become dull, or fade away so he leaves things behind for them. Randy is a loving father, but he knew that he couldn’t physically be there for his children much longer. That is why he left things for them. They may not be able to have a conversation with him, but he wants them to get as close as they can. This is very touching and thoughtful of Randy, and I admire him for that.
Reply
Josh Fink
5/9/2012 11:49:02 pm
I never felt that way in a sense that my parents hurt me by something they said. Yet, once in awhile if my parents say something that brings down my confidence, it can mean a lot. Especially when it comes to sports, you always want to feel like you're getting better and doing well. If somebody tells you its not good enough, I get a little down. My parents never really say anything to offend me, but I have seen other parents or adults be outcasts in public for what they say or what they do. I feel the way Randy is saying goodbye to his kids is the smart way to do things. To not tell them, so it’s like everything is normal and they don’t have to worry. But at the same time, randy is trying his hardest to get valuable family time with them. As my life is starting to become more filled up, i have began to realize how important family time and family memories are. Plus, the last lecture is for his kids, so they will always have a piece of him. If they don’t remember him well, you can get a feel of what a great guy he was through reading the book and watching the video. When i watched the video, it really stood out to me how much of a people person Randy was, always making the crowd laugh. Randy is leaving behind not only memories for his children, but life lessons along the way. Sure as they grow older it will be tough for them to not have their father to talk too, but by reading the book they can see what he probably would have thought and said. Randy is leaving a good example of the person he was through his book and last lecture.
Reply
Sujay Adhikari
5/10/2012 12:10:36 am
There have been times when my parents have critiqued me and it is a little hurtful, but I know they are trying to make me a better person. Like Randy said, you’re critiques are usually the ones who still believe in you. I think the message randy is trying to say to his kids are that he wants them to be whatever they want to be as long as they are happy.
Reply
Yacine Issioui
5/10/2012 08:46:57 am
I agree, I also believe that parents on criticize to build us up and make us a better person kind of like coaches do. Great quote from the book on the one about people that believe criticize!
Reply
Dhathri Bobba
5/10/2012 04:56:25 am
I agree with Randy's words about the power of a parents words. When my parents insult me and say I am completely useless and I will never succeed in life and tell me that I will grow up and live in a box, which they say to me alot, I actually believe them for a short amount of time. It is very hurtful when they tell you that. It is also even more powerful when they want you to become something they want to be, not you. I believe that the message that Randy left his children is that they shold do what they want to do and they should not let other people affect their choices in life.
Reply
Kate Kaiser
5/10/2012 05:23:28 am
I know exactly what Randy is saying. Sometimes an innocent opinion or remark from my parents can really feel "like a shove from a bulldozer." When you value the opinion of your parents as much as I do, their simple comments can mean more to you than somebody else’s might.
Reply
Isabelle Garza
5/10/2012 11:42:30 am
Yes, I have felt that way. I think every kid has at least once in their life. Even a simple cimment from a parent like their opinion on what you should be when you grow up can mean alot to a kid. The main message coming from Randy is for parents not not force their dreams on their kids. He wants his children to live out their dreams and live life the way they want to live it. I think this is an important message for all parents to here because too often kids are pressured by their parents to be something they dont want to be. He is giving his kids permission to live life the way they want to and to be happy. That is something most children want to hear from their parents.
Reply
Vishnu Kunadharaju
5/10/2012 12:13:20 pm
You know I actually did feel that way. When I was young my family kept on telling me that I should become a doctor, a business man, a engineer, you know like getting those big jobs in the economy. But I on the other hands always wanted to become something else. What I think Mr. Pausch is saying to his children is that do not waste your time figuring out what I want you to become but to go out and live your own lives. Dream your dream and become what you want to become in life.
Reply
Michelle Zhang
5/10/2012 12:31:23 pm
This kind of pressure from moms and dads happen a lot now. Parents think that they know what's best for their child, but in reality, they have no idea. Children are young, and when you're young, you get influenced extremely easily. I think that what parents should do is let their child explore their options, then let them choose. Personally, my parents always let me do what I wanted, as long as I went to college and didn't move in with them after high school. They've encouraged me, but never pressured me to do things, so I've never felt obligated to do anything I wouldn't want to do.
Reply
Myles Paschall
5/10/2012 12:43:30 pm
I agree with Randy and i think that what parents say to their child has a big effect on how they act and how they grow up. If a parent is always putting down their child then he may grow up with a low self of steem but the opposite could happen if you are always lifting your child up. You should also be what you want to be.I think that randy wants you to follow your dreams but not to listen to everything your parents tel you you have to be.
Reply
Katy Hensel
5/10/2012 01:20:07 pm
A lot of times, offhand comments from parents can seem like bigger things than they actually are. This past year, I applied to a few private high school, and got accepted into all of them. I also made the cheer team and Take One drama at CHS. I feel like my mom has been seriously pushing me to go to one of the private schools. Even though she says she is happy wherever I go, I feel like she keeps hoping I'll change my mind. I just want to tell her that it's her dream, not mine. I love CHS and I really want to go there, but the pressure I feel like she's putting on me makes me feel guilty about it. I love that the one thing Randy wanted his kids to know is that he wanted them to do whatever made them happy. I hope that when they have to make hard decisions they can just go with their gut.
Reply
Elbio Guedilla
5/10/2012 10:16:46 pm
Actually my parents never put me down unless I do some thing that an stop me from being an engineer. The message that randy leaves that we should take is that we should live our life like we want to.
Reply
Jariah De La Garza
5/12/2012 08:56:15 am
The things he could have said to his children might have seemed harsh at the time but the over all picture is him helping them in the long run.When our parents tell us thing that we know is true but don't want to believe it can make us angry or hurt us but they are just trying to help us and protect us.
Reply
Zane Erickson
5/13/2012 05:53:26 am
My parents like to let me lead my own life which i am thankful for but they do always give me suggestions and i respect them but i always tell myself that it is my choice, because it is. The message he sends to his kids is i'm proud of you no matter what no go do what you want to do.
Reply
Haris Rafiq
5/13/2012 10:28:44 am
Actually, in my case, it gets really confusing. To make a long story short, my dad was a huge jerk to me when I was younger. Over time, it's almost like I became immune to his jerk-y comments. As ironic as it is, his jerkiness made me mellow.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Post your disussion repsonses here and respond to your classmates thoughts.
Categories
All
|